


Through the Looking Glass

by EbonyLyre



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Female!Sephiroth, Snapshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 13,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28499259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EbonyLyre/pseuds/EbonyLyre
Summary: Snapshots of what could have happened if Sephiroth had been born Sephirah.Note: The story is complete, as the beginning (‘Girl’), middle (Worth and Grace) and end (Vengeance) are already posted. Further updates will fill in more blanks, but those will be irregular and out of order.
Relationships: Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth
Comments: 12
Kudos: 29





	1. ‘Girl’

**Author's Note:**

> Axsens’ (sfw) image of female!Sephiroth is amazing; these snippets are written in its honor. ([Image on DeviantArt](https://www.deviantart.com/axsens/art/Sephiroth-Genderbent-18-optional-750685771))
> 
> I’ll be putting effort into every post I make, but updates will only occur as inspiration strikes. (Comments with prompts are welcome, but I can't guarantee they'll get written.)
> 
> Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and its characters belong to Square Enix.

Sephirah finds out she’s a "girl" the day she meets Genesis. It's the first thing out of his mouth.

"A girl?" the lanky teenager exclaims. "We’re going to be competing with a girl?"

"I’m Sephirah," Sephirah offers tentatively.

The redhead opens his mouth but his shorter but stockier companion elbows him hard.

"I’m Angeal," the raven haired child says, offering a hand.

Sephirah shakes it, noting it's his right hand.

"This is Genesis," Angeal introduces.

"I can’t believe we’re competing with a girl," Genesis grumbles.

Angeal glares at him. "My ma can put us both over her knee any day."

"Yeah, but she’s an adult," Genesis retorts.

"Sephirah will grow," Angeal says patiently. "You know, the way we will?"

"What’s a 'girl'?" Sephirah asks. She needs to know. The lab assistance who call her 'Sephirah' treat her differently than those who refer to her as 'Specimen S'.

Angeal and Genesis stare at her. Genesis opens his mouth but Angeal elbows him again.

"You’re a girl," Angeal explains, then points to himself. "I’m a boy."

"I see." Sephirah wants to check if the different labels mean they'll be subject to different lab tests, but the 'boy' is already looking at her so oddly... "Is he a boy too?" she asks instead, pointing to Genesis.

"Yes!" Genesis exclaims. "Are you-"

Angeal elbows him again and this time adds a _look_. Genesis glares back. Angeal folds his arms. Genesis huffs.

Sephirah is fascinated by their interaction. No one in the lab behaves like them.

Angeal resumes his explanation. "We're both boys. When we grow up, we'll be men. When you grow up, you'll be a woman."

"Oh!" Sephirah exclaims. "'Girl' is for young female specimen, 'boy' is for young male specimen!" Sephirah's smile disappears at the boys' look of disbelief. "I got that wrong?" she asks a little fearfully. Professor Hojo does not tolerate mistakes.

The boys exchange a look.

"We're humans, not specimens," Genesis says surprisingly serious. "But you're right about the female, male part."

Sephirah nods and makes a mental note: Angeal and Genesis are part of the labs now, but they're humans, not specimens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it wasn't clear: in the labs, Sephirah was never referred to as anything other than “Sephirah” or “specimen”. She knows she’s female from peeking at her health reports, but no one in Hojo’s lab has ever called her “girl”.
> 
> Sephirah's name: [Sefirot](https://www.britannica.com/topic/sefirot)  
> (The 'h' on the end is optional; I kept it to better match the original.)


	2. Regret

Only once does Sephirah bring up the matter with Hojo.

"I don’t want to be a girl," she says after they’re done with his latest batch of tests. Sephirah isn't sure why she says it. Maybe because a tiny part of her still believes he can do anything. Maybe he can change her sex the way he altered everything else about her.

She doesn't expect Hojo to look up sharply from his notes. For a second Sephirah wonders if she's hallucinating; the mad scientist's eyes redden, his lips thin, and he swallows harshly as he turns back to his computer.

For the next few minutes, there's only the harsh clacking of the keyboard.

Hojo presses the button to open the laboratory's door. Sephirah slides off the examination table and pulls on her boots.

As the door closes behind her, she thinks she hears a quiet whisper.

"If only you weren't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a practical level, Hojo wants as many specimen as possible so he'd consider male Sephiroth more useful. (Remake: "If I may, Mister President, I have an idea how we might mitigate the risks. Simply put, we could have the Ancient reproduce.")
> 
> On a personal level, female Sephirah would probably remind Hojo even more strongly of Lucrecia. Sephirah would also have a harder life in Shinra than Sephiroth. (Note how Scarlet is the only female director.)


	3. Inheritance

Sephirah flinches the first time Angeal abbreviates her name.

"Seph?" the raven-haired boy calls as he sets the table, "Can you bring another spoon over?"

Sephirah nods, forgetting for a second that Angeal wouldn't be looking at her.

"Seph?"

"Yes," she replies a little sharply.

"What's wrong?" Angeal asks, pausing in the process of placing cutlery.

"Nothing."

There's a beat of silence. "You don't like me abbreviating your name?"

Sephirah shrugs and brings over the asked-for spoon.

"Sephirah," Angeal says patiently, "it's okay to let people know how they should address you."

"You call Genesis 'Gen'."

"Because he's okay with that. Just because he's okay with it doesn't mean you have to be."

Sephirah nods. Before she can decide on additional responses, there are two short knocks against her door. She hurries over to let Genesis in.

***

Citing an "impossible" headache, Genesis flops onto the couch as Angeal and Sephirah clean up after the meal. "Calling the regular troops Shinra's 'Public Security Officers' is just stupid," he moans. "It makes sense for those who stay in Midgar or get sent to other places where Shinra's deputized by local mayors or councils, but it _makes no sense_ when they're sent to Wutai!"

"Why's this bothering you?" Angeal asks.

" _Reports_ ," Genesis complains. "I swear all the ones Hollander assigns for us to read would be half as long if they didn't have to keep including 'Public Security Officer blah blah blah', 'Public Security Grenadier blah blah blah'. Just call them 'Infantry' the way we call SOLDIERS 'SOLDIER' and the department 'Infantry Division' like 'SOLDIER Division' and be done with it!"

"Names are important," Angeal answers firmly. "Titles even more so."

"At least _we'll_ be joining SOLDIER straight away," Genesis grumbles. "Can you imagine me signing all my reports 'Elite Public Security Flametrooper Genensis Rhapsodos?' Frankly I'd sooner aim my flamethrower at the pile of paperwork."

Sephirah giggles at the mental image.

"Have a little pity, Seph," Genesis teases, "you have the shortest name of all of us."

Sephirah's smile slides right off her face. "Right," she says. "Sorry." She quickly resumes clearing the table.

Genesis glances at Angeal with confusion.

"Sephirah doesn't-"

"It's fine," Sephirah interrupts.

"You don't like us calling you by a nickname?"

Sephirah looks up at Genesis' tone. Hoping to head off a sulk, she quickly clarifies. "I don't like _anyone_ calling me by a nickname."

"Why?" redhead asks, hurt giving way to curiosity.

Sephirah carries the plates over to the sink, wishing she'd better concealed her reactions. She plugs the sink and turns on the water to stall a little longer. When the two boys stay quiet, Sephirah sighs inaudibly and shuts off the faucet. "Someone told me my mother named me," she says keeping her voice as even as possible. "It's the only thing I have from her other than _her_ name. I don't know my father's."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Angeal says quietly.

"It's in the past," Sephirah replies firmly, turning the water back on. She picks up the detergent and squeezes a little too much onto the sponge.

"Sephirah's a nice name," Genesis comments. "Almost like 'sapphire'. And your eyes do resemble green sapphires."

"Aren't sapphires blue and emeralds green?" Angeal asks.

"Sapphires come in a variety of colors," Genesis begins in his 'Professor Rhapsodos' tone. "They're all called sapphires because they share the same type of crystal structure..."

Angeal sighs loudly but doesn't interrupt.

By the time the dishes are done, Sephirah's smiling again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering, Professor Gast told Sephirah about her name.
> 
> Emeralds vs sapphires: <https://www.gemsociety.org/article/gem-species-and-varieties/>


	4. Ephemera

"Excuse me?"

At the sound of Hojo’s raised voice, Sephirah tunes into the conversation happening in the scientist’s office. However, she makes sure her eyes keep moving over the pages of the book in front of her.

"Sending SOLDIERs to the front has not made as much difference in Wutai as the President expected."

Sephirah doesn’t recognize the other speaker’s voice, but carefully memorizes it. Perhaps later she’ll have the chance to link it to a face, name and position. Raising her head now will give away her spying.

"I promised the President enhanced strength, speed and stamina. I delivered on my promises."

"Professor, SOLDIER is an expensive program. It doesn’t need to ‘deliver results’; it needs to deliver _extraordinary_ results."

Whoever the speaker is, he must wield a tremendous amount of power. Sephirah has never heard anyone else contradict Hojo so calmly or assuredly.

"Has the President considered that Heidegger might be the problem? He’s the one training the fruits of my labor after all," Hojo replies acidly.

"Which is why this is a perfect opportunity for you. You oversaw Sephirah’s training, so if she performs well you’ll be given a say over the other SOLDIERs’ instruction."

Whoever the speaker is, he also knows Hojo’s weaknesses. More authority and increased access to specimens? The insatiable professor can’t possibly say no.

"Sephirah is my prototype. I need to keep testing her to find new ways to improve the SOLDIERs."

Hojo’s response is surprising, but not as much how he said it. There was a waver in the supercilious scientist’s voice, as though he already knew he’d lost the argument.

The other speaker doesn’t reply.

 _Just who is this man?_ Sephirah wonders. _The vice president?_

Hojo tries again. "Sephirah-"

"Is ready."

Despite her best efforts, Sephirah freezes. There was a softness to the other speaker’s tone, as though he was trying to comfort Hojo. Sephirah has also never heard Hojo say her name like that before, as though it pained him.

 _He’s just worried about his prized specimen_ , Sephirah reminds herself, feeling her heartbeat speed up. She carefully breathes a little more deeply until her pulse returns to normal.

"What about Hollander’s boys?"

_Genesis and Angeal?_

"They will be going, too."

Sephirah’s fingers whiten around her book. She forces them to relax before she tears the spine apart.

"If you have further concerns, I suggest you take them up directly with President Shinra."

After a beat of silence. Hojo speaks again. "When?"

"In three days’ time. They’ll head out with the newest batch of infantry. That should give them and the company enough time to sort their equipment."

Sephirah strains her ears for Hojo’s response, but all she hears is unfamiliar footsteps walking away. Suddenly, the sound of glass shattering against metal rings out from the scientist’s office. Sephirah’s eyes widen and she feels herself begin to tremble. Hojo _never_ mistreats equipment. Assistants yes, specimen absolutely, but he is careful with machinery and has never so much as pounded a table.

_Get yourself under control. You cannot let him know you were eavesdropping!_

Sephirah forces herself to turn a page, and the normalcy of the movement helps her regain her composure. Barely a minute later, Hojo walks over. His sneer is as unpleasant as usual, but the skin beneath it is a shade lighter. His pulse is elevated. If Sephirah didn’t know better, she’d guess the scientist is _scared_.

"You’ll be traveling to Wutai in three day’s time," Hojo says crisply. "You’ve already got all the immunizations so focus on your equipment. You’ll be using the sword you’ve been practicing with, so go down to the Weaponry Division and see what materia and bracers you’d like. If they try to tell you no, have them contact me. I expect you’ll be given SOLDIER uniforms, so don’t worry about clothing either. Make sure you pack your books. I expect them to be memorized by the time you come back."

Sephirah stares. For the second time in so many minutes, Hojo’s voice doesn’t match his words. Despite her best efforts, a wisp of hope glimmers anew in Sephirah’s heart.

Then the scientist opens his mouth again. "Don’t you _dare_ embarrass me. If I don’t hear epics about your victories, I will put you a mako tank with a Behemoth."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you haven't guessed, Hojo's visitor is Veld/Verdot.


	5. Uniform I

As they make their way down to the SOLDIER training room, Genesis keeps plucking at his blue turtleneck. "Whoever manufactures these ought to be shot," the red mage grumbles.

Sephirah tilts her head. "You don’t like them either?"

Genesis' head jerks up, then his eyes narrow in suspicion. "Since when do _you_ care about what you're wearing?"

Sephirah tugs on the turtleneck's collar. "Since what I'm wearing feels like it's choking me."

Angeal laughs. "Never worn a turtleneck before?”

Sephirah barely refrains from rolling her eyes. She prefers Angeal to Genesis, but sometimes the former is, well, a little slow. “Have you ever seen me in a turtleneck?”

Genesis snickers. “Did you even know what a turtleneck _is_ before we got these?”

Sephirah does roll her eyes this time. She picked up the habit from the redhead after all.

“What I’d like to know is how they managed to torture wool until it’s this scratchy,” the red mage continues. “None of my winter clothes are anything like this.”

“These uniforms are meant to withstand colder climes than Banora’s,” Angeal points out. “So it’s wool content is probably higher than anything in your wardrobe. On top of that, this is mass produced for SOLDIERs and infantry. I doubt they’re using merino let alone cashmere.”

Sephirah isn’t familiar enough with textiles to judge Angeal’s reasoning, but Genesis looks impressed. “Guess we’ll have to prove we’re worth more than cheap castoffs,” he comments with relish.

Sephirah hesitates, but decides risking embarrassment is worth remedying any ignorance about her gear. “Are your pants ok?”

The boys don’t slow down, but they do glance at her with identical expressions of confusion. “Yeah,” Angeal replies. “I quite like them actually. Would’ve come in handy while I was working in the orchards.”

Genesis sniffs. “They’re adequate, but this program is the only reason I will ever wear canvas.”

“Why would they have been useful in orchards?” Sephirah asks. _Are orchards like battlefields?_

“Durability,” Angeal explains. “Canvas is really thick so bugs can’t bite through it, and it’s tough so if it catches on branches it won’t tear. These are blended with polyester so I’m pretty sure they’re a little water resistant, too.”

Sephirah opens her mouth to ask another question, but Genesis beats her to the punch. “Okay, cashmere and merino I understand—you’ve been in my closet—but canvas and polyester? Since when did you know so much about fabrics?”

“Mr. Wolrych’s Laundromat and Dry Cleaner’s,” Angeal answers lightly. “Any time there’s a festival their loads would double or even triple so they’d let me to help out with their front desk.”

Genesis stiffens a little and doesn’t respond.

Sephirah doesn’t want to interrupt whatever’s happening, but they're almost to their destination. “Thank you for explaining the purpose of the material,” she prefaces, “but I was talking about the fit. Do yours fit right?”

Genesis and Angeal exchanged puzzled looks. “I haven’t had problems with mine,” Angeal says slowly.

“Mine are a little loose but if I go down a size they’ll be too short,” Genesis adds. “I’m guessing you’re having the same problem? It’s what the belt’s for.”

Sephirah bites her lip. “It just fits weird,” she says at last. “Probably because I’m not used to belts.”

The two boys look at each other and shrug. “To earning tailored clothes,” Genesis jokes.

“To britches big enough for your ego,” Angeal replies gravely. Before Genesis can retaliate, the raven-haired SOLDIER opens the door to the training room and ducks inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to FF7’s timeline, Sephiroth is already 1st Class by the time he goes to Wutai. IMHO, that makes no sense because that means even if he’s born at the start of 1980, he’s only twelve when the war begins. Even if we assume Shinra’s inhumane enough to make him start fighting say, when he’s ten, the timeline doesn’t include any major conflicts before Wutai so how could Sephiroth have distinguished himself? Hence I’m going to assume Sephirah joins the war as a Third class and slowly rises to First.
> 
> Women’s pants vs men’s: <https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.smh.com.au/lifestyle/fashion/i-wore-men-s-pants-for-a-day-and-frankly-women-get-a-raw-deal-20191209-p53i4p.html>
> 
> To be “too big for one’s britches” means the person is conceited or overconfident.


	6. Worth

Hojo’s tests leave her head and body aching so Sephirah is less than pleased by Genesis' knock. She opens the her door just wide enough to make eye contact. "Go away," Sephirah demands irritably. "Go bother Angeal."

Genesis looks at her curiously. "Is it your time of the month?"

"My what?" Sephirah replies blankly.

Oddly, Genesis doesn't immediately start showing off his knowledge. Instead he blinks, stutters, then in a completely unprecedented move tells her to ask Angeal. Genesis' cheeks are pink as he takes his leave.

If Sephirah were the sort to believe in spirits, she would've suspected Genesis of being possessed.

***

Sephirah doesn't ask Angeal of course. Genesis had already reacted strangely; Sephirah doesn't want to risk embarrassing the boy she actually gets along with.

Instead Sephirah corners one of Hojo's female lab assistants during her smoke break. Judging by Genesis' actions, he was probably referring to a “girl” thing.

"What's the 'time of the month' and do I have it," she asks without preamble.

The assistant's eyes widen. "Um..." she gulps. "I..."

"Speak properly," Sephirah orders.

"You should really ask Professor Hojo," the woman deflects awkwardly.

"You’re here and you clearly know the information," Sephirah replies coldly. "Answers. _Now_."

Perhaps summoning Masamune was a bit much, but the woman talks.

Listening to the assistant's explanation, another little piece of Sephirah withers away.

She thought Hojo wasn't treating her like his other fertile specimen because Sephirah proved she's more valuable as a warrior. Now she knows why the repulsive scientist allowed her to be trained in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ability to reproduce should not be a primary determinant of a human's worth. Sephirah reacts the way she does because: a) in the time this chapter takes place, she still thinks of herself as a specimen, and b) most of her opinions are those taught to her by Hojo. It's Hojo (the embodiment some of the most horrific thoughts and behaviors of humanity) who believes all living things should exist to serve his desires.


	7. Image

“Ugh,” Genesis opines as he tosses the latest issue of _Shinra_ aside. On the cover he, Angeal and Sephirah are in battle stances with Sephirah staring into the camera as Angeal and Genesis look to the left and right.

“Got your bad side?” Angeal jokes.

“Why does Sephirah have to be female,” Genesis grumbles. “They put her in the middle for all our group shots. And they always mention her separately. ‘The gods and goddess of war’,” he quotes. "At least our group name is good."

Angeal stops watering his plants to glance at the magazine's cover. "The Trinity," he reads. He snorts and resumes watering. "Sounds like we're characters in a sci-fi thriller. Or a religious movie."

"We are as gods among men," Genesis preens, smoothly transitioning from sitting to lying across the length of Angeal's sofa.

"You know, I've never actually seen your ego crush anyone in Wutai," Sephirah comments looking up from her book. "Why are you still lugging it around?"

Genesis glances at the silver-haired SOLDIER ensconced in one of Angeal's two armchairs and scoffs. "My ego's more useful than strategy written by a guy who's been dead over a thousand years. What would he know of modern technology?"

Sephirah glares at him. "This _Art of War_ was written by Antoine Jomini. He wrote it over one hundred and fifty years ago."

"Well that title alone assures me he has nothing original to say," Genesis retorts.

"This coming from the man who's read _every_ interpretation of LOVELESS," Angeal comments.

"Exactly!" Genesis exclaims. "That's why I'm qualified to opine that imitators rarely have anything new and significant to contribute."

"Yet you're still working on your own treatise," Sephirah points out.

Genesis sits up but Angeal speaks up first. "No arguing in front of my plants," the raven-haired First scolds. "I found yellow leaves after I kicked you two out last time. You scared them."

"You mean Genesis singed them," Sephirah corrects.

"Me?!" Genesis squawks. "I'm not the one who was playing with Lightning!"

Sephirah just looks at Angeal who immediately puts his hand up. "I'm not getting in the middle of this. I'm just kicking both of you out if you scare my babies again."

Genesis immediately flops back down. "If those plants attract bugs I _will_ roast them."

"Some of these are herbs," Angeal replies cheerfully. "Once they're mature, I'll pick a few leaves for you to roast and they'll season our meals."

Sephirah closes her book. "Gongaga has plants that eat bugs," she says reaching for the magazine on Angeal's coffee table. "You could mail-order one."

Angeal shakes his head. "Don't have bugs yet," he points out. "And we're so high in the tower that I doubt any will make it up here. I'll keep that in mind though."

"A Venus flytrap for our Venus flytrap," the red mage muses. Sephirah ignores him in favor of skimming the article on SOLDIER's newest Firsts. "What plant would you get to represent me then, Ange?"

"I think I'd get a sundew actually," Angeal replies. "What plant would you like to be?"

"The Condor Reaper," Genesis replies immediately.

"Fitting," Sephirah says without looking up.

The red mage eyes her with suspicion. "Really?"

"Mhmm."

Genesis sits up again. "Why?"

"Really?" Sephirah says, nose briefly wrinkling. "'Which of these two warriors do you think can better protect our silver goddess?' _I'm_ the who wields Masamune!"

"Why do you think the Condor Reaper suits me?" Genesis demands.

"Cool name, red, sets people on fire, what else?" the silver-haired SOLDIER lists looking confused.

"Stop winding him up, Sephirah."

Sephirah sets down the copy of _Shinra_ and folds her arms. "I don't deserve your mistrust, Angeal."

"I trust you with most things," the raven-haired First replies as he tidies up after the spot of gardening. "But not feeding Genesis' ego."

Sephirah actually pouts a little. "I'm surprised you haven't worked it out," she says to the red mage. She can see comprehension dawning in his eyes as she adds, "Peppers are hot because they're full of capsaicin."

"I'm not an _irritant_!" Genesis howls.

"Out!" Angeal orders. "To the training grounds with you until 1700! Then **_one_** of you returns to help me cook!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Genesis thinks Sephirah is reading The Art of War by Sun Tzu; Sephirah's actually reading The Art of War by Antoine-Henri Jomimi: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13549.  
> Many thanks to Project Gutenburg.
> 
> The Carolina Reaper is currently the world's hottest pepper.


	8. Entitlement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: implied threat of sexual violence.

Sephirah likes Angeal and is still ambivalent about Genesis, but she knows without a doubt that her hatred of Rufus Shinra is only a shade less intense than her loathing for Hojo.

Rufus grew up with everything. Rufus grew up believing that what he sees, he owns. Including Sephirah.

She hadn’t realized it at first. Whatever else their faults, Angeal and Genesis protected her in social situations. One or the other always stuck by her during company events and helped her smooth over awkward responses or walk away from inappropriate topics. At this particular party though, Genesis is away on a mission and Angeal has to handle a disciplinary matter involving two Third Classes and an infantryman. He’d promised to show up as soon as possible, but it still meant Sephirah had to arrive alone.

The moment President Shinra finishes speaking, Rufus makes his way over.

“Hello, Sephirah,” he says, all velvet voice and suave mannerisms.

“Hello, Rufus,” Sephirah replies. She relaxes a little. Rufus keeps company with the Turks, so he must know about Sephirah’s difficulties with hobnobbing.

“Where are your boyfriends?” the President’s son asks.

Sephirah blinks. She’s heard the rumors of course, but she wouldn’t have thought the President’s son of all people... “Neither Angeal nor Genesis is my boyfriend,” she clarifies. “We’re friends and colleagues. Angeal is taking care of a matter, but he will be here shortly.”

“Want to be gone before then?” Rufus says, leaning in.

Sephirah grabs a flute of champagne off a passing waitress to give herself an excuse to step back. “I’m expected to represent SOLDIER at this event,” she replies. She feels uneasy. Anyone else, any place else, she would have already summoned Masamune. But she if embarrasses the president’s son at a company event, President Shinra just might order Sephirah back into Hojo’s labs for the rest of her life.

“You’re here to make the company look good right?” Rufus says, smiling like he knows something Sephirah doesn’t.

He isn’t wrong though, so Sephirah nods.

“Well I’m the company,” Rufus continues. “Come make me look good.” Saying so, he grabs Sephirah’s arm and begins to tug her towards the doors.

Sephirah feels her pulse speed up. She’s in high heels—because being a warrior doesn’t excuse her from being female—so she doesn’t have enough traction to stand her ground. She can’t break Rufus’ grip without hurting him in the process. She does not want to go wherever he’s trying to take her.

“Sephirah! There you are!”

Never has Director Lazard’s voice sounded so sweet.

“Director,” she greets, removing her arm from Rufus’s grip so she can shake Lazard’s hand. “Do you need me for something?”

“I’m sure the director just wanted to say hi,” Rufus interrupts. He glares at Lazard and tries to wrap an arm around Sephirah.

“Actually I’m afraid one of our key investors wants to meet Sephirah,” Lazard says, voice dripping with sincerity. “He thinks the SOLDIER program is being underutilized so he has several ideas he wants to run by our top operator. Most of them will be garbage of course, but you know how the older investors are.”

It's like a magic trick, the way Lazard secures her freedom. Sephirah can tell Rufus still thinks Lazard is bullshitting him, but Lazard’s excuse is bulletproof. The bit about ‘older investors’ lands particularly well, shifting Rufus’ ire to a third party. “Very well,” Rufus sighs. He grabs Sephirah’s hand and kisses the back of it. “Go humor the old sots, darling. Find me after.”

Sephirah nods. “We shouldn’t keep them waiting,” she says and all but runs to Lazard’s side.

He guides her towards a knot of gentlemen who are standing with their wives. Everyone is talking, and the conversation isn't segregated by gender. “Where’s Angeal?” he asks along the way.

“Disciplinary matter,” Sephirah replies. Normally she would’ve bristled at the implication that she can’t handle herself, but right now she's still feeling shaky.

“Compliment Mr. Tsunade on his recent public facilities contract,” Lazard instructs her. “When he winds down, ask him if SOLDIER can be of service. If Angeal still isn’t here, find me so you can tell me about Mr. Tsunade’s ideas.”

Sephirah bites her lip, torn between gratefulness and helpless fury. “Yes, sir. Th-“

Lazard holds up a hand. “Decency requires no gratitude,” he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rufus (Remake): "You're a SOLDIER, aren't you? Which, of course, would mean that I own you."


	9. Love (Part I)

Caught up in conversation, Sephirah didn’t pay attention to where her feet took them until they arrived at the door to her suite. Suddenly, the easy camaraderie is gone, replaced by an uncomfortable silence.

Or maybe it’s just Sephirah who’s uneasy; Angeal still looks relaxed.

“We’ll continue tomorrow?” he checks.

”I’m not sure there’s more to say,” Sephirah hedges. “Morale is important, but the budget is what it is.”

“It doesn’t need to be big,” Angeal insists. “If we do something simple—like a barbecue—all we’d have to pay for is the food. And maybe a small fee to reserve a space.”

Sephirah nods. She still thinks it sends the wrong message to invite SOLDIERs to a simple cookout, when everyone knows the Shinra executives will be attending a five-course gala. She trusts Angeal’s judgment though, and it can’t hurt for Sephirah to run the idea by Director Lazard.

Silence descends again.

Angeal tilts his head. “You want me to sweep the room before you enter?” he jokes.

“ _No_ ,” Sephirah growls before she can stop herself. Of all the changes they’re expected to endure now that she, Angeal and Genesis are Very Important People, the "security teams" that accompany them every time they leave Shinra Tower are the most irritating. As if Sephirah will ever trust a room “cleared” by a Turk or count on infantrymen to keep her safe. The most cynical corner of her mind suspects the “security teams” aren't responsible for protection so much as surveillance.

Angeal holds both hands up in mock surrender. “Only kidding.”

Sephirah sighs. “I know.”

Angeal examines her, and his expression shifts to what Sephirah’s dubbed his “oh, I’ve figured out what obvious thing’s stumped Sephirah this time” look. Before she can say anything, the raven-haired young man steps closer and hugs her.

”Good night, sis,” he says, placing a kiss on Sephirah’s cheek.

Sephirah blinks at him, hand rising to cover the warm spot on her face. “Oh.”

Angeal smiles and hugs her again before stepping back. “See you in the morning.”

“Night, Angeal,” Sephirah replies, smiling back.


	10. Love (Part II)

Genesis is outside her door the next morning. “Angeal told me he kissed you.”

Sephirah stares at the red mage. “Good morning,” she replies. Sometimes Genesis behaves like he’s the one who was raised in a lab. Or a barn. He did grow up surrounded by farms... Sephirah gives her head a little shake. It's way too early to start rhyming.

“Are you two dating now?” Genesis demands.

“ _What_?”

”Dating,” Genesis repeats. “When two people like each other-”

“I know what dating means,” Sephirah interrupts.

”Then are you?”

Sephirah resists the urge to rub her forehead. “What exactly did Angeal say to you?”

”That he kissed you. He didn’t add anything else.”

 _Despite your pestering_ , Sephirah fills in. “We’re not dating,” she says at last because she’s certain of that much. “I’ve no idea why he told you that. You’ll have to ask him.”

Genesis scrutinizes her, huffs, then flounces off.

 _Great start to the day_ , Sephirah thinks.

***

Genesis is outside her door _again_ the following morning. Sephirah briefly contemplates moving. Or finding an unused staff room. She’s slept on worse surfaces than couches.

”Good morning,” the red mage says and offers her flowers.

An alarm begins to blare in Sephirah’s head. “What did you do,” she asks flatly.

Genesis frowns. “Bring you flowers?”

In the blink of an eye Masamune is in her hand, its blade resting against the side of Genesis’ neck. They both know she’s not going to decapitate him, but hopefully the imminent threat of _pain_ will get the conversation moving. “What. Did. You. Do.”

Genesis takes a step to his left, looking offended. “I didn’t do anything,” he replies. “I’m bringing you flowers because I like you and I’m hoping you’ll agree to a night out.”

Only a lifetime of training keeps Sephirah from dropping her sword. “A-a _date_?” She makes a mental note to sweep the corridor for audio surveillance later. Sephirah does not yelp and there will be _not_ be evidence proving otherwise.

”Yes a date, though now I’m not sure why I’m bothering,” Genesis mutters. His cheeks are faintly red.

”I-” Sephirah recalls Masamune to buy herself time. “This isn’t a trick to get me to see LOVELESS again is it?”

Genesis heaves a sigh. “Look, if you’re not interested-”

“I didn’t say that! I’m asking if ‘a night out’ means me trying to stay awake while you wax philosophical for the hundredth time!”

Genesis pauses before replying. “You,” he says with great dignity, “are like...a sterilized Petri dish. Uncultured and impossible to culture.”

There’s a beat of silence, then they burst into laughter.

”That was terrible,” Sephirah says when she gets her breath back.

”It was,” Genesis agrees. “Next time I’ll just use whatever metaphor is the most suitable and make you look up the reference.”

“Or you could show it to me and explain it,” Sephirah offers shyly.

Genesis’ expression warms. “I could do that,” he says with a nod.


	11. Envy

Sephirah thought things would only get better now that she, Genesis and Angeal are closer than ever.

Time proves her wrong.

It _is_ wonderful at first. Nothing warms Sephirah more than Angeal’s “Morning, sis,” though she really enjoys walking to breakfast with Genesis, bickering lightly along the way. The red mage tells her about how he once won a National Agriculture Award and Sephirah has a wicked time teasing the self-proclaimed epicurean for his victory in the _Processed Food Category_.

Then Sephirah discovers Genesis is even more competitive than she realized. Before, she’d thought nothing of him and Angeal going one way after a spar while she walked in the opposite direction to go back to her suite. So Sephirah is only now finding out that while Angeal is genuinely fine with her superior combat skills, Genesis never quite made peace with it. Just because the red mage can congratulate her after a spar doesn’t mean he wants to be anywhere near her for the next few hours.

What she doesn’t notice how is how relaxed she’s become around Angeal. Now that they've acknowledged each other as family, Sephirah thinks nothing of greeting Angeal with a one-arm hug or tapping his shoulder to get his attention, or leaning against him when she looks over his shoulder. She touches Genesis too of course—they’ve hugged and kissed and cuddled—but she’s too caught up in her happiness to realize her actions are less carefree around the red mage.

Sephirah doesn’t mind when Genesis stops walking with her to breakfast as regularly; she knows he likes to sleep in as late as possible and figured he’d go back to old habits at some point. She frowns a little when Genesis’ remarks become more snide than usual, but chalks it up to frustration over the lingering problems in Wutai. She blinks when she sees Angeal reach for Genesis and the latter ducks away, but Angeal and Genesis have been always been “Angeal and Genesis” so she’s sure they’ll be fine again soon.

Then Sephirah mentions how Zack must be over the moon because of how much time Angeal is spending with his mentee, now that Genesis is spending his free time with her. She’s bewildered when Genesis sits up and starts yanking on his boots. “Genesis?”

“Fuck off,” he replies as he stands up.

”What’s wrong?”

”You tell me,” the red mage sneers. “You tell me why you said yes to dating me when you clearly want _Angeal_.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Morning, Angeal!” he mimics in a sickly sweet voice. “You’re the best, Angeal! Let me hug you some more, Angeal!”

”He’s my brother!” Sephirah exclaims.

”I’m your boyfriend!” Genesis yells back. “But you’d invite _Angeal_ along to everything we do if I didn’t protest!”

”We’ve always done things together!” Sephirah argues. “ _You_ always did things with him until we started dating! I just didn’t want him to be left out now that we’re a couple!”

“So you want him to join us?” Genesis leers. “Never thought you’d be the type.”

Sephirah refuses to flinch. “I said yes because I wanted to date _you_ , Genesis. I’ve never thought of Angeal romantically.”

Genesis looks at her for a long moment. “You really believe that.” He grabs his coat and heads for the door. “I suppose that’s something.”


	12. Grace

She wasn’t present for their argument, but the aftermath speaks for itself. Gossip fills in the blanks. They hadn’t been keeping their voices down after all, and everyone on the SOLDIER floor has enhanced hearing.

Angeal and Genesis aren’t on speaking terms. It’s all but confirmed they fought over Sephirah, but no one knows the details. Some say Sephirah was dating Genesis but cheating on him with Angeal. Others argue it’s the other way around. A few think she asked the other Firsts to form a triad but then favored one lover over the other. No one thinks she agreed to date _one_ guy, trusted him with a piece of her heart, then watched him stomp it flat on his way out.

Sephirah keeps her chin high and her shoulders relaxed as she walks. She ignores the knowing looks, the leers, the _just_ audible mutterings. This is nothing compared to her early days in SOLDIER, before she proved herself in her first deployments.

Interestingly, Zack approaches her. “Commander!” the ever-energetic Third Class greets, bouncing over.

”SOLDIER Zackary,” Sephirah replies. “How can I help you?” Even this standard response inspires some snickers from onlookers.

Zack appears oblivious to their audience. “You’re good with materia, yeah?” he asks. “I mean, everyone knows you’re awesome with swords, but you’re also really good with magic aren’t you?”

Sephirah nods, wondering where this is going.

”I got my first Summon materia,” Zack explains. “A chocobo. I know it’ll be easy since it’s a training Summon, but since it’s my first time ever, I figured I’d ask an expert to supervise.”

A day ago Sephirah would have told Zack, “I’ll send a message when I have time,” then cornered Angeal to ask what his puppy is up to. In light of recent events, she says, “I’ll be free at 1900. Shall we meet outside training room on Level 49?” Refuge in transparency; she's not going to let her infamy taint Zack.

The SOLDIER Third's smile is blinding. “Really? _Yes!_ ” He turns and hollers down the hallway to a SOLDIER Second. “See that Kunsel? Sephirah is _nice_!” Then without missing a beat, he spins around and executes a crisp salute. “Thank you for your time, Commander.”

Sephirah hides her smile and nods before resuming her trip to the office she shares with Genesis and Angeal.

The corridor is quieter now.


	13. Fracture

Angeal disappears for three days, but then his and Sephirah’s routine returns to normal. Though all three Firsts are incredibly busy preparing for the next deployment of troops to Wutai, Angeal and Sephirah spar and take their meals together whenever possible. Zack usually joins them for lunch or dinner, especially if he’s working with Angeal before or after. Genesis on the other hand, takes his meals exclusively with his fans, sitting with members of Red Leather at midday and participants in Study Group at night. Sephirah doesn't know where he's working; the red mage hasn't returned to the Trinity’s shared office.

Zack’s presence brightens the atmosphere at Sephirah and Angeal’s table, replacing Genesis’ sly wit with good-natured gossip. Thanks to him and Kunsel, Sephirah and Angeal now know the details of virtually all of their subordinates’ love lives and recent embarrassing moments. Angeal will sometimes let out a snort of laughter, but Sephirah limits herself to smiles unless they’re eating in the Trinity’s office. Her icy façade is a professional and personal necessity after all.

Today, Zack’s enthusiastically retelling an encounter between Kunsel and a member of Study Group. “So Kunsel is like, ‘I’m okay, why?’ And the guy’s like, ‘Well the Turks won’t do it and the other guys can’t even claim ‘ok’ so you’ll have do,’ and Kunsel’s like-”

“Zack,” Angeal interrupts, “you still haven’t told us what Leeroy’s asking Kunsel to do.”

“That’s the best part!” Zack exclaims. “I’m telling you like it happened for maximum effect!”

The corner of Sephirah’s lip twitches up.

“See? Our Commander gets it!” Zack says, then continues before Angeal can respond. “So Kunsel hears ‘Turks’ and starts getting nervous because if _they’re_ refusing to do something it’s bound to be dastardly. Not being an idiot-”

“Dastardly?” Angeal interrupts again.

“Kunsel’s word not mine, stop interrupting or we’ll never finish before lunch’s over!”

Sephirah’s lips twitch again at the expression on Zack’s face.

“ _Anyway_ ,” the SOLDIER Second resumes. Angeal glances at Sephirah and they exchange conspiratorial smiles. “Kunsel’s like, ‘I’m not hacking into Shinra’s mainframe or anything like that,’ and Leeroy’s like, ‘No, just the VR room, and it wouldn’t be hacking. I’m pretty sure we can get permission, I just don’t think Shinra will pay for the labor,’ and Kunsel’s like, ‘Well you better get permission because the VR room’s barely less sacred than the data room,’ and Leeroy sighs and goes, ‘Yeah I think we should just reserve the auditorium, but Genesis is really specific about the _perfect_ atmosphere and we don’t have the skill or time to make props,’ and the gil finally drops and Kunsel’s like, ‘You want me to program the VR room for a production of LOVELESS?!’”

Angeal laughs. “I’m surprised Gen’s only now come up with the idea,” he admits.

“The war’s winding down,” Sephirah points out. “He probably thinks he can get away with using the VR room recreationally now.”

Zack glances between the Firsts with a puzzled expression. “You’re missing the point,” he says. “Leeroy wanted Kunsel to program a _detailed_ , _completely_ new VR sim in _three_ days. There’s nothing-”

“Three days?” Sephirah asks.

“Yeah, the Study Group guys want to surprise him with a production before he heads back to Wutai-” Zack stops at the expression on the Firsts’ faces. “Guess he didn’t tell you two?”

“No,” Angeal replies.

“Director Lazard hasn’t told me who’s being sent,” Sephirah adds. “Genesis might have asked him not to.” There’s an odd twist in her heart. Intellectually she understands the Director strives to protect _all_ his subordinates, so he’d honor a request from Genesis just as he would a request from Sephirah. A small part of her though, refuses to stop feeling betrayed. Another part starts to wonder what else the Director might have kept from her.

“Sorry I said anything,” Zack says miserably.

“No, thank you for telling us,” Angeal corrects firmly. He looks down at his mostly finished meal. “Give me five and we’ll go run the perimeter inspection drill again?”

Zack nods.

The rest of their meal is consumed in silence, broken only by the sound of laughter from the Red Leather table.


	14. Fissure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fight described in this scene is based on the one that triggers Genesis’ degradation: <https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YP2DRw15fls>  
> Thank you to Shirrako for posting the cutscene.

Sephirah's PHS beeps. Seeing Angeal's name, she immediately opens the message.

[Training room, Lvl 49, 1900?]

The silver-haired SOLDIER frowns. Angeal usually just asks if she's free for a spar when they run into each other. _Maybe he's working on Zack's materia control?_

[Affirmative.] she replies.

***

Punctual as ever, Sephirah arrives on the 49th floor at 1850 and walks down the hall to the virtual reality training room.

"Hey," she greets, seeing Angeal already there.

Angeal looks up briefly from the console for programming the room. "Hey, sis," Angeal replies, before tapping a few more icons. "All set," he says with satisfaction.

"Shall we?" Sephirah asks, tilting her head at the room's sliding doors.

"Waiting on one more," Angeal replies with a faint smile.

Comprehension flashes across Sephirah's face before her gaze drops away.

"He's heading for Wutai tomorrow," Angeal reminds her.

Sephirah nods but doesn't look up.

The elevator dings and its doors open. Genesis' brisk footsteps approach until they abruptly halt.

"Gen," Angeal waves. "How was dinner?" In lieu of a subpar theatre performance, the Study Group members reserved the largest staff room for a banquet and an immaculate dramatic reading of LOVELESS.

"Good," red mage replies, resuming his stride.

"Glad to hear it," Angeal answers as though the short response was perfectly normal. "LOVELESS on a VR stage would've really been something, but I'm afraid no one could have pulled off programming that in three days. Fortunately Urban Development had a new sim almost ready to go. I asked Director Reeve if he could do me a favor and have a trial version ready for today." Saying so, Angeal hands out three VR headsets and three practice swords, then presses the button to open the doors to the VR room.

A soft gasp escapes Sephirah as she steps into the simulation. "It's _gorgeous_."

"It's really something," Angeal admires.

Genesis says nothing, which--given his current mood--is as good as an admission that he's impressed.

Sephirah walks to the edge of the simulated cliffs and gazes at the dazzling sea below. Sunset dyes Junon's sea red, orange and yellow, as though imbuing the water with the semblance of fire. She inhales deeply, imagining the scent of saltwater. Almost directly beneath her is Shinra's recently completed Mako Cannon. Sephirah jumps without hesitation, landing neatly on the cannon's highest flat surface. Feeling giddy, she all but skips over to the front of the cannon and slides down its metal side until she's standing on the barrel. From there, it's an easy catwalk down the barrel's length until she's standing at the very tip. The simulated breeze lightly ruffles her hair. For a moment, nothing exists but the perfect scenery complemented by the perfect weather.

Sephirah's ears pick up the sound of two sets of boots landing on metal, then taking a few steps. It appears Angeal and Genesis have joined her on the cannon, but neither ventures onto the barrel. Sephirah pictures Genesis finding a place to pose while Angeal crosses his arms and surveys his surroundings. She smiles at the memory of their easy camaraderie. _We should've been content with what we had_.

"Now that the cannon is complete, the President and the Turks want SOLDIERs trained to defend it," Angeal explains. His voice easily carries to where Sephirah is standing. "The infantry could handle the occasional attempt at vandalism or sabotage when it was being built, but now that it's complete, it'll attract greater interest. A cannon that can demolish Midgar is no small prize."

"Urban Development's really outdone themselves," Sephirah comments.

Genesis snorts. "I don't know what Leeroy was thinking, going to the Turks."

Sephirah bites back her immediate response.

"Everyone knows the Turks know how to program, and they get jobs done quick and dirty," Angeal points out. "It wasn't a completely ludicrous guess."

"I wonder what the Turks told Leeroy," Sephirah muses. "According to Zack, he went straight to _Kunsel_ after the Turks turned him down."

"Speaking of the puppy, where is he?" Genesis asks.

"No idea," Angeal replies. "Why?"

"Shouldn't he be here?"

Sephirah closes her eyes. Genesis wouldn't be Genesis if he let anything go.

"This is for us," Angeal answers firmly. "It's for us to say our apologies and then Sephirah and I will wish you luck in Wutai. Then we'll test this sim out with a proper spar."

"I suppose that's one way to have a three-way."

Sephirah whirls around. "Stop it," she demands, pinning Genesis with her gaze.

"Or what?" the red mage taunts. "You won't like me anymore?"

"Excuse me?" _You_ left me!" Sephirah exclaims.

"'My friend, the fates are cruel / There are no dreams, no honor remains / The arrow has left the bow of the goddess.' I may have been the first to step off a sinking ship, Sephirah, but _you_ were the one punching holes in the hull."

"Dinner wasn't enough LOVELESS for one day?" Sephirah sneers before she can stop herself. "How pathetic are you to be so obsessed with _one,_ **_incomplete_** piece of literature!"

"Sephirah-"

"Stay _out_ of this, Angeal! You've meddled enough! 'All that awaits you is a somber morrow / No matter where the winds may blow.'"

Sephirah closes her eyes and grits her teeth so tightly her jaw muscles begin to ache. In her left hand, the hilt of the practice sword starts to deform in her grip. _This is **Genesis**_ , she reminds herself. _Even when he's wrong, he needs to spin it so he's right._

"As I thought, an insult to Angeal upsets you even more than an insult to yourself. 'My friend, the fates-'"

"Actually, every word out of your mouth upsets me more," Sephirah corrects.

There's a rustle of fabric as Genesis straightens to his full height. "Was that a threat?"

Sephirah opens her eyes. "Should it be?"

The red mage scoffs. "I'm not afraid of you."

Sephirah laughs harshly. "Bold words for a second-rater." Angeal inhales sharply, but Sephirah doesn't take her eyes off of Genesis.

"Is that right?" the red mage replies softly. Abruptly, he spins and hurls his practice sword towards Junon's cliffs. Metal screeches as the blade embeds itself into the wall of the training room.

"Genesis!" Angeal scolds.

"Unlike you, Shinra can afford the repair bill," the red mage sneers, resuming his staring contest with Sephirah's. He unclips Rapier, running a hand down the blade to wake its runes. "So smug," Genesis notes, "But for how long?"

Out of deference to Angeal, Sephirah sets her practice blade on the floor and gives it a push towards the nearest corner. All three watch as the blade flies over "Junon's sea" until it disappears into the distance. Sephirah mentally winces at the loud thud that follows. Clearly she hadn't been as gentle as she meant to be, and now there's probably a dent in the training room's wall. Returning her gaze to Genesis, Sephirah curls the fingers of her left hand and summons Masamune.

"Angeal, stay back," Genesis warns, then rushes toward Sephirah.

Sephirah easily blocks the blow, feeling almost bored. Genesis has never been a match for her in swordplay. He can be a lot more creative than her in his application of magic, but not when he's letting his anger control him. Sephirah keeps her moves mostly defensive, using a mix of Manaward and slashes with Masamune to maintain the distance between her and the red mage. Genesis' temper worsens as he repeatedly fails to close the gap. _What did I ever see in him?_ Sephirah wonders.

Letting out a growl of anger, the red mage calls fire to his palm and hurls it outward as a series of fireballs. Sephirah deflects every one and smirks. Then growing heat against her back warns her the diverted fireballs reoriented and are once again flying towards her. _Clever trick_ , she admits, activating her Barrier and Gravity materia to cast Reflect and Hold. She's pondering how best to return Genesis' salvo when she hears Angeal's voice.

"Stop! You're going to cause structural damage that'll put everyone in the building at risk!"

"That's no way to talk to a hero!" Genesis yells back. A second later, Angeal shouts in pain and surprise.

 _Oh for fuck's sake!_ Sephirah snarls. _Would that I could go back in time and kill whoever wrote that stupid poem!_ Out of time to think, Sephirah cancels Hold and hurls as much of the remaining fire as she can in Genesis' direction. She uses the seconds Genesis spends on dismissing the flames to wake her Lightning materia. Wielding Masamune like a laser beam, Sephirah funnels electrons into narrow plasma channels between herself and Genesis. Blindingly bright lines of light jump across the gap from Sephirah's sword tip towards the red mage. Unable to see, Genesis moves Rapier as quickly as he can to redirect as much energy as possible. The superheated and ionized air connects with Mako Cannon's barrel and shears through concrete and steel.

 _That can't be real_ , Sephirah notes as chunks of the simulated barrel begin to fall. Most likely the VR program has no idea what effect the extremely dangerous magic she and Genesis are wielding will have on the cannon and is simply presenting the worst case scenario. Sephirah's musings are interrupted by the red mage's next attack. Feeling thoroughly fed up, Sephirah begins to fight in earnest, forcing Genesis to retreat. For fun, she keeps Lightning running so every stroke from Masamune throws off more plasma, shaving more rings off Mako Cannon. The ground isn't really shrinking beneath Genesis' feet, but the red mage tends to over-rely on his sight and Sephirah allows herself to show a little spiteful pleasure at the growing signs of stress on Genesis' face.

Genesis' eyes narrow in response and the red mage jumps back to buy himself time. Rapier glows brighter as its owner pours mana into its runes. Sephirah reverses her grip on Masamune's hilt and clasps it with both hands behind her back. She stands straight, keeping her expression innocent and tilting her head as if to ask, "How will you entertain me next?" The light around Rapier turns gold-white. With a snarl, Genesis charges. Sephirah casts the Manawall she prepared and rushes forward to meet him.

"That's enough!" Angeal yells, swinging his practice sword between the ex-lovers. Not even Sephirah's reflexes could have prevented all three blades from colliding. There's just enough time for her eyes to widen and for her to think, **_Hel_** , before Angeal's flimsy blade shatters under the impacts from Rapier and Masamune.

Junon disappears before Sephirah's eyes and is replaced by the Shinra logo. Sephirah recalls Masamune and yanks off her headset, tossing it aside carelessly. A few strands of hair follow but she barely notices the pain. "Genesis!" she and Angeal both yell, rushing over. Sephirah kneels to match the red mage. Few people realize it, but every time Rapier channels fire Genesis is actually casting and maintaining two spells at once. However strong the fire is, Genesis has to sustain a stronger Manawall to protect his blade against warping and melting. After all the mana he expended during their fight, Genesis likely near depletion. Her prediction is confirmed when green light doesn't immediately wash over Genesis.

"Just a scrape," Genesis says firmly, as though he's never cast Cure in response to a papercut.

Sephirah immediately wakes her Healing materia and prepares a Cure for when Genesis pulls out the shard of metal that punctured his coat and lodged in his shoulder. Instead, Genesis moves his hand away from the wound, leaving the metal where it is.

"Gen?"

"I'll be fine," the red mage insists, not meeting Angeal's eyes. "Don't worry." Genesis picks up Rapier and slowly gets to his feet. "'Even if the morrow is barren of promises / Nothing shall forestall my return.'"

Sephirah watches anxiously, hating the way Genesis walks as though he's barely steady on his feet. She knows better than to offer help once it's been refused though. Her eyes stay on him until the red mage disappears beyond the training room's doors. "He wouldn't even let us cast a Cure," she whispers.

"Genesis...is a proud man," Angeal replies.

Sephirah glares at Angeal to tell him exactly what she thinks of the statement. She gets up and absently brushes her knees as she scans the room. There's broken machinery and cut wires everywhere. The walls, floor and ceiling aren't as bad as she feared, but there are nevertheless quite a few areas that are singed, slashed or dented. "I'll get a report to Director Reeve," Sephirah says. "You should get some rest and wake early tomorrow to see Genesis off."

When Angeal doesn't reply, Sephirah glances at him.

"Sephirah-"

" _Don't._ " Judging by his tone, what the raven-haired First has to say is nothing she wants to hear.

There's another moment of silence, then Sephirah hears Angeal's footsteps retreating followed by the slide of the training room doors. She waits until all sounds of his departure completely disappear before re-summoning Masamune.

 _Crying never helps_ , she reminds herself as she begins a set of katas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. So far as I can tell, FF7’s timeline does not state when Mako Cannon (later rename Sister Ray) was completed. The earliest suggestion of a completed cannon is in February [ ν ] - εγλ 0001, when AVALANCHE v1 temporarily gains control of the weapon. Hence, for this story’s purpose, it was completely shortly before the fateful spar.
> 
> 2\. I think the VR room would fall under the responsibilities of the Urban Development Division because who better to design realistic artificial environments than the people who survey the land and blueprint infrastructure? Like CGI artists in the real world, I imagine the U. D. programmers would invite researchers from Science and Weaponry to share their expertise when an artificial environment is ready to be populated by targets.
> 
> 3\. I took the liberty of assuming “Demi” was as close as old technology could get to simulating the effects of redirected gravity. Hence for the purpose of consistency, my Gravity materia casts the following spells: Hold (uses gravity to hold an object in place), Pull (uses gravity to redirect objects’ trajectory) and Warp (uses gravity to deform/reform an object).
> 
> 4\. Not sure if I portrayed plasma channels correctly. If any reader has a better explanation for the lines of blue light Sephiroth hurls at Genesis, please type leave a comment. Thanks!


	15. Fathom

“Morning Angeal, morning SOLDIER Zackary,” Sephirah greets at breakfast the next morning.

“Morning, Commander,” Zack replies.

“Morning, sis,” Angeal says, setting down his tray. “Have you heard from Genesis?”

Sephirah’s instantly alert. “What do you mean?”

“He didn’t leave this morning. Angeal and I went down together, him to see SOLDIER Genesis, me to say bye to the departing Seconds.”

 _That explains why Zack’s joining us for breakfast_ , Sephirah notes. Aloud, she addresses the remaining mystery. “So deployment went ahead on schedule, just without SOLDIER Genesis?”

“Yep,” Zack confirms.

“I checked his room after he didn’t show up and he’s not there either,” Angeal adds.

Sephirah frowns. “Genesis wants to go back to the front, and it can’t be a logistical matter since the rest of deployment went smoothly... Could his injury from yesterday still be causing him problems?”

Angeal shrugs. “That was the only explanation I could think of as well. It’s still strange though. Mana depletion affects recovery, but as a SOLDIER, Gen has easy access to ethers and potions.”

For the hundredth time Sephirah bites back her urge to lecture Angeal for his stupidity. What was he thinking, sticking a flimsy practice sword between Rapier and Masamune? _Angeal already knows he made a mistake_ , she reminds herself. _You will not embarrass your **brother** by dressing him down in front of the whole canteen and his mentee._ “Maybe the practice blade you used was improperly sterilized?” she asks. “If there’d still been poison or germs on it from previous use it’d make Genesis’ wound harder to heal.”

Zack glances at Angeal, who’s nodding slowly. “Maybe,” the First allows. “You saw me take the blades directly out of the decontamination chamber. I didn’t order an additional around of sterilization beforehand though.”

“If he’s having difficulties healing he’d go to Medical, right?” Zack contributes. “Let’s check there after breakfast.”

Sephirah nods. “Text me when you know something.”

Zack opens his mouth but is stopped by a look from his mentor. “If Gen went down to Medical, Medical would’ve alerted Hollander,” Angeal reasons. “It’s been a long time since any First encountered something non-lethal that they didn’t immediately bounce back from, so Hollander might have requested Gen stay for further observation.”

Sephirah arches an eyebrow. “Genesis would have never agreed to postpone his deployment to make R&D happy.”

“He might not have a choice,” Angeal points out. “If Hollander makes a compelling case to the President, he would okay Hollander holding Gen back for a few days.”

“And Director Lazard wouldn’t be able to countermand that order,” Sephirah concedes. “Let me know what you find out at Medical,” she repeats.

“Will do,” Angeal replies with a smile.

***

Sephirah spends her entire morning completing the post-deployment check-ups. She can’t guarantee all the supplies will make it to Wutai, but she can at least make sure no shipment has been left behind. She’s tempted to order a Third to grab her a sandwich from the canteen so she can stay in the office and wrap up the paperwork, but then remembers she’s waiting on news from Angeal. Setting down her pen, Sephirah scoops up her PHS and starts walking towards the canteen. Along the way, she checks the device and sees she has an unread text from raven-haired First.

[Medical confirms G’s there. Won’t let me visit.]

Sephirah frowns. She’s been turned away from Medical in the past on Hollander’s orders, but that’s never happened to Angeal. Alone in the hallway, Sephirah lets out a huff of frustration. _After everything Genesis’ put me through he could at least let me resent him in peace_. She could (begrudgingly) admit that it wasn’t as though Genesis _asked_ Angeal to wound him yesterday. However, the redhead did unsheathe Rapier and hurl fireballs at Sephirah. Then he practically burned himself out trying to overpower Sephirah’s Manawall. Genesis may not have intended to get hurt but he’d certainly been reckless with his health.

Sephirah spots Angeal sitting at their usual table and makes her way over. “Hey,” she greets.

“Hey,” Angeal replies.

“Why’s Hollander blocking you?” Sephirah asks.

“Grab your food first,” Angeal admonishes.

Seeing as they’re in public, Sephirah just raises an eyebrow and smirks before obeying.

“I didn’t get to speak with Hollander,” Angeal explains when Sephirah returns with her tray. “I went to Medical after my training sessions with Platoon 5 this morning, then went to Hollander’s labs when Medical turned me away. The assistant I spoke with told me Hollander went out for lunch.”

“Sounds like Hollander isn’t concerned,” Sephirah remarks.

Angeal shakes his head. “I’m pretty sure he was lying. The assistant. His heartbeat sped up when he saw me and stayed elevated. Plus he looked too relieved when I accepted his reason for turning me away. He did ask me to leave a pint of blood though, to run tests against Gen’s.”

“I hate R&D,” Sephirah grumbles. “Everyone there’s horrible.”

“Not everyone,” Angeal corrects with a smile. “We just happen to have the most contact with the rotten apples.” Before Sephirah can respond, he returns to the original topic. “I’ll go again right after my afternoon session. It ends at 1500 so I’ll see if they try another excuse.”

Sephirah nods. “I’ll talk to Lazard as well. If Genesis flies out in the next few days, he can catch up with our supplies in Junon or Corel. If Hollander wants to keep him longer, one of us should travel with the convoy.”

“And if we’re guarding it over to Wutai we might as well stay for a tour,” Angeal finishes. “He’d hate that.”

“I’ll ask to be the one sent.”

Angeal sits up and opens his mouth, but then slumps in his seat. “What a mess.”

Sephirah takes a large bite of salad to prevent herself from blurting her thoughts. Even if Angeal tried his hand at matchmaking, Genesis is ultimately responsible for his choices. As for their fight yesterday, if it’s true the red mage didn’t ask to get stabbed by shrapnel, it’s certainly equally true Angeal didn’t intend to hurt his best friend. _No, he’s just an idiot_ , Sephirah thinks acidly. Of the three of them, Angeal’s the worst at thinking on his feet. That fact doesn’t actually justify Sephirah’s slur against her brother’s intelligence, but Sephirah’s feeling tired and stressed enough to be petty. 

“I’m sorry,” Angeal says quietly.

 _Oh Hel_. Sephirah’s silence must have been as good as an accusation. “You meant well,” she argues lamely.

“Yeah well, road to Hel and all that,” Angeal sighs.

Sephirah really tries to think of something comforting yet true to say. Angeal may have avoided her for three days after Genesis broke her heart, but the raven-haired First had also welcomed her into his family and defended her against his oldest, dearest friend. The best she can come up with is, “You’ll know better next time?”

Angeal gives her a look—half offense, half disbelief—before his lips twitch in amusement.

Sephirah shrugs apologetically.

_No wonder half of SOLDIER refers to me as ‘the Bitch in Charge’ behind my back._

As she finishes her meal, Sephirah consoles herself with the fact that she consistently brings more troops back home than Angeal or Genesis. If being an impossibly demanding perfectionist is what it takes to save lives, she can stomach the insults.

***

Stopping by Director Lazard’s office turns out to be a bit of a mistake, in light of her original plans for the afternoon. “Sephirah!” the man exclaims the minute he catches sight of her. “I was just thinking about SOLDIERs’ next steps now that the war is finally wrapping up.”

“Isn’t it a little early to say that?” Sephirah replies awkwardly. “Heidegger’s been ‘certain of Shinra’s impending victory’ since 1993.”

Lazard chuckles. “True, but Fort Tamblin _is_ their last stronghold.”

Sephirah seizes the opportunity. “Agreed, sir, which is why I’m anticipating increased attempts to sabotage our supplies this deployment. Will SOLDIER Genesis be able to join the convoy before it departs Corel?”

Lazard gives her a knowing look. “Professor Hollander has assured me that SOLDIER Genesis will be ready to fly tomorrow. His transport will arrive at 0800.”

Sephirah smiles and her shoulders slump a little in relief. “Thank you, sir. Sir?” she asks hesitantly. When Lazard nods, she continues, “He asked you to not say anything didn’t he.”

It’s not really a question, and Lazard doesn’t actually reply. Sephirah’s shoulders dip a little more before she adjusts her posture back to military standard. “Understood, sir.”

“At ease, SOLDIER,” the director replies. “In fact, sit.”

Sephirah obeys.

Lazard clears a space then unfolds a map of Gaia. “The SOLDIER program was authorized once it became clear Shinra was going to have to fight Wutai,” he begins, tapping the continent’s location. “But as you know, we’ve increasingly needed to deploy SOLDIERs in Midgar and surrounding areas due to the rise in the monster populations. So what I’m thinking is that after the war...”

Sephirah ends up talking with Director Lazard until it’s almost dinner time. She checks her PHS on her way to the canteen, wondering if she can put off the rest of the deployment-related paperwork until tomorrow. She pouts a little when she realizes she shouldn’t; her check-ups hadn’t revealed any glaring errors, but past experience tells her there could still be discrepancies in the sub-department reports. If something small got overlooked, say a pallet’s worth of uniforms, Genesis’ trip tomorrow would be the perfect opportunity to rectify the mistake. _Not that uniforms are likely to be what’s missing,_ Sephirah grouses. _More like a crate of drones because Scarlet thinks all numbers are imaginary._

Angeal had indeed texted her again.

[No Hol. No Med.]

Sephirah quickly replies.

[Strange. Director Lazard says Genesis is scheduled to fly 0800 tomorrow. I’ve paperwork to finish; working dinner.]

Sephirah swipes her Shinra ID to enter the SOLDIER canteen and heads over to the racks of sandwiches. She selects a variety and places them on a tray to carry back to the office. Any she doesn’t finish can go in the mini-fridge and become tomorrow’s snack.

Her PHS vibrates.

[:( See u @ 0750 tomo?] Angeal asks.

[Affirmative.] she replies.

***

It’s well after dinner by the time Sephirah sets her pen down with a sigh of satisfaction. The President must have been breathing down everyone’s necks because for once, nothing’s missing. She stands up and indulges in a stretch.

 _If Gen’s leaving tomorrow then surely he’s been discharged from Medical by now?_ If possible, Sephirah would rather they say goodbye in private. She doubts she’ll get into another fight with the red mage on the helipad, but why risk it? Sephirah pockets her PHS and walks over to Genesis’ suite. She knocks twice then waits. After a minute, she frowns and places her ear against the door. There’s no sound beyond the hum of machinery that’s prevalent in the building. Sephirah bites her lip. _Could he still be in Medical?_

She’s tired after yesterday’s lack of rest, but she’ll sleep better if she can allay her fears. So with a sigh, Sephirah heads over to Medical. Along the way she ponders what she could say to get in when Angeal’s been turned away. It turns out to be a moot point when the nurse on front desk duty takes one look at her and says, “Room 3, that way."

_Must be a fan. Or unusually astute._

Sephirah nods her thanks and makes a mental note to send a token of appreciation. Her footsteps slow as she approaches Room 3. _This also feels too quiet._ Fearing the worst, Sephirah opens the door without knocking, almost yanking off the handle in her haste. Genesis lies on the hospital bed, presumably asleep. Sephirah shuts the door behind her and approaches noiselessly, noting the bags of snacks on a trolley by the bed. _Angeal must have asked a staff member to pass them along._ Sephirah fingers curl a little at the sight of Genesis’ copy of LOVELESS on his nightstand.

Sephirah examines the redhead’s appearance and raises a hand, intending to cup it against his cheek. She _knows_ he's just sleeping but he's so still and pale she wants to touch him to verify the presence of body heat. She pulls her hand back though. _We're not together anymore_ , she reminds herself. _I've no right to do that_. Angrily, she brushes away the moisture that gathered on her lashes. _What did I do wrong?_ she wants to demand. _Why didn't you just tell me there was a problem? You knew I wasn't good with people when you asked me to be your girlfriend!_

She forces herself to walk over to the foot of the bed and pick up Genesis' chart. The first page is standard information about the patient's history, most of which Sephirah already knows. She flips to the second page and frowns. _What in Gaia's name?_ Sephirah flips to the next page, then the last. The information on all three pages are handwritten, and there are foreign symbols mixed among standard letters. There's nothing that looks like a complete sentence. _Hollander_ , Sephirah realizes. Angeal and Genesis have both grumbled about the scientist's paranoia, apparently caused by his fierce competition with Hojo. _Fucking **scientists**! They should be made to eat the canteen's Spice Surprise then shoved in a mako shower till what's inside and outside of them burns them to **ash**! Then those ashes should be scattered over manure so a dung beetle can come along and eat them and break it down until there's nothing left of their structure but **atoms**!_ The room starts to brighten and Sephirah knows her eyes are glowing as the mako in her blood reacts to her fury. She orders herself to calm down. _I need to get my temper under control_ , she thinks. _Two swears in two days is not a good sign._

Sephirah takes out her PHS and snaps photos of all four pages. If she can't calm down she can at least distract herself with a puzzle. Taking one last look at the figure on the bed, Sephirah hesitates. Slowly, she walks over and hovers her hand over Genesis'. _Just one second,_ she promises herself. She reaches down until her fingertips detect the warmth coming off the back of his hand. Then she shoves her emotions in an oubliette and sweeps out of the room with her usual expressionless efficiency.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no personal experience with any military and my understanding is derived from literature on the subject. Lest I mislead readers, allow me to clarify that I don’t agree with Sephirah that her “tough love” leadership style is what kept/keeps her men alive.
> 
> Based on my understanding of FF7 canon, Angeal and Genesis were never trained in the art of warfare the way Sephiroth was. In this AU, President Shinra’s skepticism over training a female to fight caused Hollander’s projects to be kept with Shinra (albeit allowing them to grow up in Banora for a while), but with Gillian and the Rhapsodoses keeping an eye on Hollander, the boys were never forced study or fight as hard as Sephirah (or undergo nearly as many enhancements). Hence, as in canon, Sephirah’s superior in ability. Therefore, I posit that Sephirah’s troops live because: a) she plans better than the other Firsts, and b) she personally cuts down a lot more enemies before they can attack her men. Given the quality of Shinra’s recruits (some as young as fourteen judging by Cloud), I’d guess that Sephirah’s style broke as many spines as it tempered.
> 
> Why doesn’t Sephirah realize her reasoning’s flawed if she’s so smart? Because: 1) Hojo’s style worked for her. Without any other frame of reference for “authority figure in charge of improving you” it’d be difficult for Sephirah to realize that his way is not the only way. 2) Only the embodiment of “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger,” could have survived Hojo’s brutality. In fact, thanks to Hojo, Sephirah was pushed to the point where even what killed her (the first time) made her stronger. Therefore, while Sephirah is intellectually aware that some people fold under pressure, it’s such an incomprehensible mindset that she subconsciously doesn’t believe it exists. (Like how we know the spiciest peppers in the world can ruin our digestive system, but it’s hard to believe it unless until you personally try one and end up in the hospital.)


	16. Vicious

Sephirah's PHS rings, jolting her from sleep. _Hm?_ she wonders, blindly pressing the "Connect" button.

"Sephirah?" Angeal asks. "Are you stuck in an elevator?"

At the raven-haired First's question, Sephirah to pull her PHS back to look at the time. " _Shit!_ " she all but yells, hastily turning on the speaker function and setting her phone down.

"Did I wake you?!"

In an extraordinary display of childishness, Sephirah sticks her tongue out at her phone in response to the incredulity and amusement she detects in Angeal's voice. The rest of her is busy yanking on socks and boots. "Fell asleep trying to figure out what the heck Hollander was doing," she explains.

"I won't tell anyone their goddess overslept," Angeal drawls. "You might want to hurry though before you have to _run_ past them."

"If I was a goddess, then destinations would come to me," Sephirah grumbles, mouth running on automatic.

Angeal laughs. "Is that a sense of humor I hear? I better check I called the right number.”

Sephirah snatches up her phone. "Thank you for calling me, Angeal," she says crisply. "I'm on my way." She jabs the "End" button before he can reply.

Ten minutes later, Sephirah arrives at the helipad Genesis will leave from. Her hair is undoubtedly messier than usual but Sephirah's pretty sure everything else looks fine.

"Hey, sis," Angeal greets with poorly suppressed glee.

" _Once_ ," Sephirah growls. "First time _ever_."

Angeal raises a hand to muffle his snickers. "You're lucky," he says, "The departure time got delayed so it looks like you're fifteen minutes early."

Sephirah looks at Angeal, puzzled. "If you knew that, then why were you here even earlier?"

Angeal shrugs. "Didn't find out until I got here. Probably an air traffic thing."

Sephirah bites her lip. "Genesis slept in Medical last night. Front desk let me in to see him. Either Hollander finished up or dayshift forgot to pass the prohibition on to nightshift."

Angeal frowns. "That’s... We’ve had Second Class SOLDIERs struck by Thundaga who walked away. A single piece of metal shrapnel shouldn’t be able to keep a First down, even if coated by Bioga."

Sephirah looks away. "I shouldn't have said that yesterday. I know the system auto-cleans all equipment-"

Angeal waves away her apology. "Even computers make mistakes. It wouldn't have cost anything to run another decontamination cycle while I was accessing the demo sim, and since we knew Genesis was heading off, I should have taken the precaution."

Sephirah takes out her PHS and pulls up the photos she took yesterday. "Photos of Genesis’ charts,” she says, passing the device to Angeal. “Can you understand Hollander’s notes?”

Angeal examines the photos. “Not a word,” he admits. “This what kept you up?”

Sephirah sighs. “Yeah. I- Genesis was asleep when I visited. He still looked so...pale.”

"You're just used to seeing him flushed from when you guys argue," Angeal teases. "Or doing something else...?"

"Angeal!" Sephirah exclaims turning red as a tomato. "Stop taking advantage of my sleep deprivation! Especially since it's _your_ boyfriend's fault!"

Angeal hums, making a show of thinking her words over. "Nah, I prefer them prettier."

Sephirah blinks and eyes him uncertainly. "Don't let him hear you say that," she replies after much deliberation.

"Here he comes," Angeal says, nodding towards the entrance to the Tower's roof. Sephirah sees Genesis and raises a hand in greeting.

The red mage strolls over without bothering to wave back. "Angeal," he greets. "Sephirah."

Happiness rises in Sephirah at the sight of Genesis looking like his usual self. "Morning," she says, smiling wider than she ever had in public. "Everything okay now?"

Genesis shrugs and pain flashes across his face, almost too quickly to see.

"Genesis?" Sephirah asks.

"It's nothing," the red mage snaps. "We mortals can handle a little discomfort."

"Gen-" Angeal tries.

"Backing Sephirah again? What are you, her attack dog?"

 _Once more for luck_ , Sephirah thinks miserably. "Angeal tried twice to visit you yesterday," she says, attempting to restore the peace. "I didn’t get to-"

"Yes, I'm sure you were busy," Genesis interrupts with a pointed look at her hair.

Sephirah's jaw drops. Indignant explanations race through her head. _I barely slept trying to decode Hollander's notes. I fell asleep at the **table**. My hair's like this because **I** was yanking on it in frustration!_ "Thank you for ending things," she says instead, ignoring the quaver in her voice. "I'm glad I didn't waste more time on you."

Genesis smiles bitterly and tosses his head towards the approaching helicopter. "If you're lucky, you might even never see me again."

Sephirah forces herself to speak past the lump in her throat. "I hope you rot," she whispers before striding away.

Once inside her room, Sephirah slumps against her door and digs her nails into her palms. She bites down on her bottom lip until she tastes blood. She reminds herself of her vow: _metal and mako;_ _ **never** again salt._ Sephirah gives herself to the count of three, then takes out her PHS and deletes the pictures of Hollander's notes. Then she burns all paper she used to try to decipher them.


	17. Fragment

Sephirah’s heart plummets when she sees Zack descend the helicopter alone. It skips at least two beats when her eyes pick out the handle of Angeal’s Buster sword on _Zack’s_ back. “Zack!” she yells, rushing forward. The fear in her voice jolts her and she forces herself to regain control. “SOLDIER Zachary,” she greets again when they’re a meter apart.

“Hey Sephirah,” Zack replies lifelessly.

Sephirah observes his slumped shoulders and the way he refuses to meet her gaze. She inhales deeply to hold back her barrage of questions. “SOLDIER Zachary,” Sephirah says quietly, “shall we speak in the office?”

Zack nods and starts moving.

***

Sephirah puts the kettle on as soon as she enters her office. “Osmanthus, chrysanthemum or chamomile?”

“Peppermint,” Zack replies after a pause.

Despite everything, a smile flits across Sephirah's face. The rasp of cloth against leather behind her tells her Zack's seated himself on the couch. Sephirah turns over two mugs. She puts a tea bag into one and carefully sprinkles a few dried chrysanthemums into the other. Then she scoops three spoonsful of white sugar into the peppermint mug and adds a single piece of rock sugar to the chrysanthemum. Finally, she takes milk out of the mini-fridge and adds a splash to Zack’s tea before putting everything back. The water is still not boiling. Sephirah’s fingers press against the countertop as she stares unseeingly at the two almost-ready cups. Silently taking a deep breath, Sephirah gently pulls open a drawer to take out two stirrers. The clink of metal against ceramic rings in the silence. Finally, the kettle “clicks”. Sephirah snatches it up and has to take another deep breath before she trusts herself to pour. A mug in each hand, she walks over to where Zack’s slumped against the cushions.

“Thanks,” the SOLDIER Second says roughly, still avoiding Sephirah’s gaze.

“You’re welcome,” Sephirah replies. She eyes the couch. Genesis brought the furniture into their office ostensibly so he can nap on days he plans to work late. In reality, the red mage flopped onto it whenever he couldn’t stand another minute of paperwork so he can bemoan his fate from a comfortable position. Angeal used it to sit next to SOLDIERs when he wanted to be approachable. Sephirah has never so much as touched the object. On the rare occasion she converses with someone seated there—i.e. when Angeal and Zack talk about combat and draw her in—she’d always pulled up a chair. Sephirah hands Zack his cup, then forces herself to sit down next to him. They blow on their tea and sip in silence.

“Angeal-” Zack’s voice cracks and Sephirah can feel a lump rise in her throat. “Angeal’s...gone,” he finally manages.

Sephirah stills. “Gone?” she echoes. She fights to not tighten her grip on her cup.

“Shit! No, he didn’t desert us!” Zack adds hurriedly. He swallows harshly. “He’s...dead.”

Sephirah freezes so still she can hardly breathe. “I see,” she whispers. “Genesis?” _Is he still alive?_

“Yeah.”

Sephirah blinks then turns sharply towards Zack, eyes wide. _Genesis killed Angeal?!_ Even hearing it from a eyewitness, she can’t bring herself to believe it.

“It was an accident,” Zack continues, fingers fiddling with his teabag’s string. “He and Angeal were arguing while I was handling Genesis' copies. When I finished them off I leapt to join Angeal.”

Sephirah sips her tea to refrain from demanding more information.

“Genesis was... He was furious, yelling awful things...”

“Like?” When Zack just shakes his head, Sephirah adds, “I rather know than imagine.”

Zack stares into his tea. In a deadened voice he replies, “I heard Genesis first. He yelled, ‘No! I can’t believe you're still choosing that ice cold _bitch_! What about _me_?’ and Angeal replied, ‘My _sister_ isn’t the one who left me, and I'm begging you to come back!’”

“Then why...?"

Zack shakes his head. “I don't think Genesis heard anything Angeal said after the first part. I'd jumped down then and...I think in Genesis' eyes I was yet another person who'd surpassed him in importance--even if that was never true. Angeal _always_ put you two first. Anyway, when Genesis saw me, he unleashed Apocalypse.”

Something crunches, followed by something thudding against the rug.

“Sephirah!” Zack exclaims, reaching for her hand.

“I’m fine,” Sephirah replies automatically, standing up. “I’ll go wash it. Then I’ll clean up this mess.” _Why does my voice sound like it’s coming from far away?_

“Let me,” Zack says firmly and heads over to the door. He opens it and sticks his head out. “No one’s out,” he reports, “I’ll check the SOLDIER lounge. Stay here.”

Sephirah nods, registering the tone more than the words. _Angeal is **dead**? **Genesis** killed him. Zack lost his mentor and he’s trying to take care of_ **me**. The last thought jolts her back to awareness. She’s barely taken a step though before the SOLDIER Second is back.

“Lounge is clear,” he says with a quick grin. “You head over, I’ll clean up and follow.”

“Zack-” Sephirah protests.

“ _Please_ ,” Zack interrupts, “take care of your- your hand.”

 _He can’t lose me too_ , Sephirah realizes. She nods and heads over to the common room.

Zack joins her as she’s carefully picking out a shard of ceramic from under the regenerating skin. Sometimes enhanced healing is more curse than blessing. Zack dumps the pieces from the Trini- from _her_ office into the trash, then opens a cabinet to take out a new mug.

“Why?” Sephirah asks.

“Becau-” Zack replies, then flushes. “Right,” he says, putting the mug back, “you’ve still enough left.”

Sephirah wishes she hadn’t said anything. She finishes removing debris from her palm and turns off the faucet. Zack straightens from his slouch against the counter and together they walk back to _her_ office.

This time there’s no hesitation before Sephirah sits on the couch. Zack joins her. “I take it Angeal knocked you out of the way?” she says quietly.

“Yeah,” Zack replies. “Genesis tried everything. He didn’t have Revival equipped so he cast Stop, then swapped something else—probably an elemental—for the Revival and cast Arise. Then he added a Curaga. It...it wasn’t enough.”

“Then he just let you go?” Sephirah can’t help the note of skepticism in her voice.

Zack shakes his head. “The spells took a lot out of him. He was kneeling and his arms could barely hold him up. Angeal... Angeal turned towards me and moved his arm so he could point towards his Buster sword. When I walked over, Genesis said, ‘You want him to kill me with _that_?’ and Angeal shook his head. He... smiled and said...” Zack takes a deep breath. “He looked Genesis in the eye and said, ‘Heal.’ Then he...”

Sephirah is reminded of a fountain she saw in Wutai. It was carved in the shape of a maiden holding an urn with the mouth tilted down. Water poured endlessly out of the urn. _I know how that statue feels now_ , she thinks. _Frozen in time, numb to the liquid flowing from me. But I have no urn, so my eyes will have to do._

“I couldn’t do it,” Zack whispers, ducking his head. “I know he’s a traitor but Angeal- I couldn’t kill Genesis, so I just left.”

Sephirah swallows and closes her eyes. Slowly, her arms rise and wrap around Zack. “I would’ve done the same,” she admits equally softly.


	18. Vengeance

Sephirah is not stupid. She's learned enough biology to know there's no way the Ancient in the mako tank could have carried a child. She could have figured that out even without knowing Hojo's a compulsive liar.

But it doesn’t matter whether Jenova is her "real" mother because the Ancient is treating Sephirah like a daughter more than any human ever did. She’s praises Sephirah and embraces Sephirah as best as she can through their mental connection.

Sephirah helped Shinra conquer the world and they rewarded her with more indentured servitude.

Jenova promises Sephirah the world in exchange for freeing the Ancient from captivity.

Angeal is dead. Genesis is a traitor. Zack doesn’t deserve betrayal, but Sephirah didn’t deserve all the things that happened to her either. If the world is a cruel and unfair place, then for once it can be cruel and unfair in her favor.

So Sephirah accepts Jenova's offer and sets everything on fire.


End file.
